Circumcision: ”The act or custom of cutting off the
foreskin of human males particularly as a religious rite of Jews, Moslems and
others or as a hygienic measure.”
The elder Romney, upon being briefed about the plan,
endorsed it instantly. His sons were less certain. They were convinced,
finally, to embrace circumcision by polling data showing that the states of
Florida and New York, both vote-rich with persons of the Hebrew persuasion,
were crucial to Romney’s electoral hopes. The family matriarch, Ann Romney, was
noncommittal . She said somewhat enigmatically “It’s their bodies, they should
use them for the greater good.”
Arrangements for the event were proceeding until a
campaign staffer conceived the idea that it should be televised. The staff as a
whole endorsed the plan and set about arranging worldwide coverage. The
reception in Israel, however, was a whole different order of magnitude. A
special meeting of Sages was convened. It was tumultuous. A Sage who left the
meeting visibly agitated was heard to mutter, “Mishegas!” Things went downhill
from there and the plan for the mass Romney circumcision petered out and was then
abandoned.
When political scientists gather the conversation
invariably turns to the aborted Romney circumcision. It would have made
electoral history, but would it have mattered? We may never know. All that can
be known with certainty is that future presidential candidates are grateful
that it did not come to pass.
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